While Most Places Businesses in France are the Best and Most Beautiful Places in the World, There are Other Places Businesses Worthy of Note

Author Archives: FrenchComparison



Bonjoir, mon amis. You may have noticed that I have not been writing as much as is usual for one such as me. The reason, I’m afraid, is that I have succumb to typical frenchman’s disease – severe depression and ennui.

What is the cause of this lack of energy? Well…this year is the reason. For one who desires to move constantly, who cannot be tied down to one location, this year has been especially hard. I have gotten into many physical altercations with gorilla goons posing as border enforcement, some of which have ended in brief incarceration.

So what do I do instead of moving around globe, visiting sites of ancient power and feeding off their energies? I mope. I mope and trounce around my southern California estate, calling associates and employees and berating them for one thing or another. Even my abuse has become listless, as my employees frequently ask, “is that it, sir? Is everything OK?” at the end of my usual tirades.

So great is their concern for me that they have come skulking up to my estate, leaving offerings of food, sweets, alcohol, anything they can think of to raise my spirits. Peasants that they are, they do not understand what a naturally aristocratic mind needs to become once again engaged with the world around him – NOVELTY.

I NEED to see, taste, and experience novelty like a lesser man needs air, shelter, and water. I must climb new mountains to see sun in different light. No paltry gift left on stoop will ever bring LIFE into me, not in the way visiting ruins in middle of jungle after days trekking.

Recently, I decide to visit one of my many enterprises here in United States to see if there was some business-related problem that could distract me from my doldrum existence wandering room to room in house. What I saw there revolted me in way I could not describe.

Many months had passed since last person entered office, turning out lights in apt metaphor for the world in this forsaken year. Thick layers of dust coated every surface, but the mess was not the issue.

The furniture, it disgusted me. Entering premises after months of disuse allowed me to see the décor of office in new and unpleasant way. The furnishings of office were as tired and energy deprived as I was, and I could not believe I had subjected even brutish American employees to such sapping accoutrements.

I began throwing desks, chairs, cubicle walls into parking lot. Soon, I had pile that took up most of lot, the rest quickly filling with distressed employees, begging me not to do anything rash. One of them called fire department, expecting me to set the whole of it alight.

Calling them the fools that they were, I simply donated the lot of it. A man with ties to ancient past knows not to pollute nature with the toxic fumes that modern furniture would no doubt spew upon burning. Plus, I know value of pre-used furniture.

To replace offending fixtures, I called old friends at Creative Office Designs up in Los Angeles. Despite the hour-long drive, I trust no one else in this country to provide me with office furniture. I will be touring their show rooms in the near future, and I have assured them that my eye is very discerning.

If you, like me, need new office furniture, be sure to give them call. They deserve the business, and your loyalty.


5230 Pacific Concourse Dr #105, Los Angeles, CA 90045

Return Of The Six-Legged Menace

Return Of The Six-Legged Menace

Bonjour mon amis and welcome back to my great exhortation to Dionysus, god of wine, fertility, and madness. I am not supposed to tell you this, but I have just returned from trip to Greece and Ionia, where followers of Dionysian Mysteries still reside, and spirit of old Greek gods may still be accessed if you know where to look…

But my head, it is still fogged by the revelries and wine, so I speak too much and too plainly. The mysteries may only be revealed to those who partake in the ritualistic madness that the god is associated with, so maybe it is not so good an idea to spread these talks.

Upon returning, it was revealed that, once again my commercial enterprises have been beset by a plague of the infuriating six legged BEASTS that seem to crawl under every inch of this besotted land! It is as if they await my departure before nesting in my property, as the devils know that my sharp eyes would catch them even in dead of night.

The madness of the festivities could never match the red hot FURY that overcame me at learning of this most recent affront. I smashed my desk with my bare hands as the assistants fled for safety. They know that my passion cannot be contained, and so they retreat to the designated safe room and listen to my animalistic howling and the sounds my great and powerful CHIMPING OUT.

Once calmed and coaxed out of freshly destroyed office with fine Turkish coffee and promises of eternal fealty, I began process of rebuilding. I have separate storage space for replacement furnishings for those destroyed during moments of Dionysian-inspired passion, but the termite problem would require outside help.

For this I once again turned to my great friends at Grand Oaks Termite Control, who I have called many times since my move to western coast. There was a time where they did not return my phone calls after seeing one such fit of godly rage, but my fine subordinates were able to sooth their scarred employees as well. There is reason I continue to bear my employees’ normally insufferable American natures – I only hire the best of their kind.

After a brief inspection, they assured me that the infestation was light and could be easily taken care of without need to change my normal operations. This news overjoyed me – the recent trip had devastated not just my body and soul, but my finances as well.

Within the week, my friends had cleared out the menace and the energy of the office immediately became once again uplifting, the clouds over my head evaporated, letting the sun shine on me and produce vitality and strengthen muscles. My employees visibly relaxed, and the alert status posted at front door was turned down once again to normal level of merely ‘elevated’ rather than ‘imminent’.

If you are like me and are in desperate need of termite infestation control in Pasadena and surrounding areas, give my friends at Grand Oaks a call. Do not mention my name.

Grand Oaks Termite Control

(626) 538-4156

110 S Worthy Dr Glendora, CA 91741

A Taste Of Home

A Taste Of Home

Bonjour, mon amis! It feels like much time since the last I wrote to you…forgive me, I have been on expedition to misty mountains in center of Borneo. Legends say there are creatures there that should have been dead eons ago…of men, covered from top to bottom in thick, shaggy fur…

Ah, but I get away from what I want talk about today. After my trip I spend time back in beautiful France to recover from many jungle diseases contracted in Malay! Beautiful beaches in paradise-like Pacific islands may entice many, but for me, nothing stirs spirit quite like the quiet countryside of mother France.

After many weeks spent listening to quiet chirping of crickets and daily arguments over price of goose liver, I force myself to trudge back to sick land of America. Business interests can’t run themselves here in low IQ land of the besotted sloped forehead, so Pierre’s absence can never be felt for long!

Once here, the usual oppressive atmosphere began to make my health and vitality once again slip away, as if land itself was eating away at my soul! In France, when the mania got to me once again and night became sleepless, a walk through the gardens of the chateau would never fail to calm me. I once again embark on quest to bring a piece of France to this land of barbarians, if only to know some peace in my spirit.

The first step was recreating gardens – without them, I would never be able to sleep again! To do this, I needed first-rate talent to rend the depressing grounds of my estate asunder and replace them with beauty and capricious, frenetic style to mimic my own mind. In same way dolts suffering from ADHD would down entire bottles of medical-grade speed to calm themselves, so too would a beautifully chaotic and luxuriant garden calm my chaotic and luxuriant mind.

This is not Pierre’s first rodeo in southern California, though! No monsieur, I knew the only half competent landscapers in San Diego because I had worked with them in past – Torrey Pines Landscaping Company.

TP Landscaping is perhaps the best landscaping company available in the southern California area. Capable of turning even the most decrepit and unkempt yards and into tasteful, gorgeous and practical landscapes, they’re one of the few companies I would trust to tear into my land for any reason.

With proper garden for me to wander through during times of intense energy rushing through my veins, my body can finally be rested enough for my next expedition…in Congo, there is said to be a cryptid, a monster that flies just above the jungle canopy. Its cries ring out through the night, followed by sounds of leathery wings and the screams of its captured prey…I will capture this creature, study its ways, and incorporate them into my own way of being.

If you are like me, Pierre, and need a top-tier company for maintaining and expanding your landscaping, then Torrey Pines Landscaping company is for you. Don’t settle for second best.

Torrey Pines Landscaping Company

(858) 454-1433

5560 Eastgate Mall, San Diego, CA 92121

Remodels that Inspire

Remodels that Inspire

Recently I have been traveling quite frequently, not out of any great need or obligation but because I feel stifled, trapped in rut both at home in France and in my temporary rest stop bathroom abode, America. While abroad, I brood, walking the streets during the day, muttering to self and yelling at people who pass by on street until police are called and bribe is needed to release me from jail.

This brooding and street harassment is how I think, reflect on what is causing feelings of immobility. The movement, the change, the strangers I yell at…it soothes me because is different from normal routine. The change, the newness of the experiences I have while on the road revitalize me and feed romantic spirit that resides in me and the heart that pumps steaming hot blood through powerful arteries. I soon begin once again getting into fist fights with restaurant serving staff, a sure sign that am back to my eternally youthful vigor and splendor.

Yet the gloom and doom returns once I am back “stateside”, as the Yankees say. The perfidy of this country and the dumb, cow-like people that inhabit it have a way of slowly sucking vitality out of world around you until you see nothing but shades of grey and commercials for McDonald’s.

I need change in my environment if I am to stay sane in this unimaginably tedious country, and with landscaping recently completed, I think inside of house to be logical next step in evolution of living space to keep up with my capricious tastes. For this change, I demand only the best, and the best was what I got with Inspired Remodels.

The company came recommended to me from long standing friend and client who recently had his bathroom remodeled and knows that I would come after him one day or another, possibly violently, if he did not approach me with name first. Inspired Remodel Contractors specializes in remodeling kitchens, bathrooms, and redoing flooring, but they also offer full-house remodeling that gives entire home new look from ground up, exactly what I needed.

This time, brain drain from humdrum existence in America forced me to only provide briefest sketch of my plans for new house, though it was still enough to shock Jason and Joe (owners) with its detail and audacity. They listened as I rant for hours on end, then talk me down from perch on top of book case throwing torn papers around the room and eventually we came on agreement for what house will look like in future.

The welcome sounds of carpentry, turpentine, and other signs of change and industry have brought new light into life here. I can once again concentrate on building nuevo French empire, eating away at America from the inside, and fight every waiter that I want without dragging feet on way home, dreading opening door to see more of the same.

If you are interested in the spotlighted company, please look them up at:

Inspired Remodels

(949) 412-9567

23332 Madero Suite B, Mission Viejo, CA 92691

A Breath of Fresh Air

I take many walks deep in Mother Night’s embrace; sleep often evading me like a coy maiden rebuffing advances of strapping young knight. Even in this unrefined country of pharmaceutical-addled cows, the night still hold mystery, hold danger as I walk the hill trails overlooking distant streets.

Wind hisses through grasses and bone dry stalks of shrubs clamor together like ghastly wind chime as I stalk from nature to neighborhood, glowering at the seventh house in row that I cannot differentiate from another. Everything here is made as if on assembly line, all semblance of individuality, personality, and soul stamped into foundation to make room for more industrial profit producing sameness.

With each step, anger and revulsion grow within me. How can these…people…stand to live in such a way? Their cities designed to best shuttle them from ugly cheap home to work to grocery store back to home to shovel disgusting, toxic and – worst of all! – bland food into their mouth, with occasional stop at depressing bar along way to spend hard earned money on swill that will allow them to forget their crushing existential ennui for one more week.

This country, this way of life, depresses me deeply, as much as it must depress those who live it, as much as they may want to ignore it. How can you feel pride, feel like you are anything but insect in hive or cog in giant, soul-grinding machine, if you can not go more than 10 feet in own neighborhood without getting confused about which house is your own?

Every year, the machine encroach farther into the wild beauty that nature provides. The passageway to escape the hive narrows with each passing day; development after development springing up, each looking no different than the one that came before. Soon I will have no hills to walk on, to peer down with disdain upon the city, replaced instead with cheaply made 3-bedroom 2.5 bath house with no yard that costs more than 10 acres of my family estate.

The architects of this land have sold their soul. Not to some daemon, who promises them glory and their names etched eternal on minds of coming generations, but for something far worse: corporate quarterly bottom line. I knew once I began living here that I would rather live on street next to smelly vagrant mumbling to himself than subject myself to living in a far more devastating spiritual squalor.

For this, I must turn to architects that still have the old spirit, souls that rise above the rabble and yearn to experience pride in their work. In my travels, one firm stuck out that was filled with such souls: Sailhouse Constuction, the best custom home designer in Newport Beach.

I learned of them from walking along Balboa, planning next conquest in this land of boors, when I was stopped in tracks by beautifully designed home. In its design, I could sense ancient spirit of architectural pride. I knew I must find who designed the building, and immediately begin work on my new permanent dwelling in this forsaken country.

From the house they design and built on the seaside hills of coastal Orange County, the tinder-dry winds became like a breath of fresh air. A place of power, of soul, and spiritual rejuvenation. There are no cities for me to look down on here, only ocean, and dreams of a faraway home.

If you’re interested in a home that you can be sure has the stamp of your individual spirit, contact:

Sailhouse Construction


170 Newport Center Drive, Suite 220 Newport Beach, CA 92660

A Taste of Home

It is with great pleasure I now sit in my yard, eating the breakfast made by the only native French baker in San Diego, listening to waves crash upon the beach. The croissant, it is buttery, flaky, and fulfilling, nothing like the cornstarch-laden pig slop the locals so seem to enjoy. The new fountain, decorated in Mediterranean Islamic style geometric tiles, burbles happily next to me. I sigh in deep content.

It makes my mind travel to boyhood, when times were simple.

Paris was my home, but the noise, it was too much! I would often languish in stupor, head lolling as the cars would honk and the people would shout. A joyous city, every corner steeped in la joie de vie! My parents knew even at young age my poetic soul would absorb too much of such energy and burst! So they would take me to family estate, nestled in hills south of Toulon, where the rich Mediterranean sea could heal my troubled head.

It was here that my memories shine clearest now, running through the ancient building, ornate arches separating rooms filled with crystalline figures and Baroque art. Diving from 10 meter high cliffs into an emerald sea, competing with other boys to see who could climb them fastest and jump from highest ledge. Sunset bringing cool breeze with smell of sea, filling my young body with vitality and power!  I fell asleep to the sweet sound of my mother singing, my father accompanying her on old guitar and burbling fountain…

As I grow old now, I desire some comforts of home in far away lands I must now stay in for long periods of time. I have the crystal; I have the Baroque paintings lining my walls. Yet still, for so long there was something missing, a hole that could not be filled by art and croissants.

A dream of boyhood chateau sanctuary finally provided answer – it was the fetid squalor I was living in! The cheap drywall filled me with sudden disgust, and the crude deck – the work of angry drunken man with sloped forehead, no doubt! I took a sledgehammer to it immediately, its very existence insulted me. I remembered then reading a local digest about a company providing pleasing landscape designs in Rancho Santa Fe, and the next step became clear in my mind.

I called Torrey Pines Landscaping, apoplectic and frequently blacking out in my rage, and after they soothed me with calming words, they agreed to come and view my sorry property. I spent days feverishly drawing out plans, sketches pouring out of memories of my childhood refuge. When they arrived, they were first taken aback by the mountain of papers I gave them. After a few hours of explanation, they knew what had to be done.

Within months, it was done. For Americans, they had done remarkable job recreating the Mediterranean feel, though nothing will ever truly compare to the Riviera. For the first time in many years in this sorry country, I felt complete and at home. I finish the last of my glycine coffee now, wiping the crumbs of the croissant off and lighting my last morning cigarette. I stand, the sandstone tiles rough on my bare feet, and smile at new, but old, landscape design in my San Diego home. Much work to be done, but this can be my new, reinvigorating sanctuary.

Torrey Pines Landscape Company


5560 Eastgate Mall, San Diego, CA 92121

A Refusal To Surrender

I sit in small park that contains remnants of the old Chateau de Roissey-en-France in contemplative mood. I await my flight out of CDG, heading back to what is regretfully becoming my second home in America. The arch, all that is left of grand castle that once rose proudly out of ombre du Paris, carries with it in its own shadow memories of even older secret societies. Societies of which I, Pierre, once belonged.

Thinking of them conjures images of strange and enticing rituals, the strange smell of exotic incense burning as we clothe ourselves in animal skins. We emerge from behind luxurious curtains of bright colored silks, raising chalices of intoxicating liquids and howl towards moon like beasts.

Another, more pedestrian howl, one of airplane coming in for landing, breaks me from this reminiscence and reminds me of how ordinary life has become. Much has changed in the decades since, and now I find myself having to deal with loudmouthed boors from across the sea far too regularly. Even now they call for my help in solving simple problem of pest eating wood in wall of one of my many stateside holdings. They have tried everything, they say, for months, they say.

One of many things the baboonish people of the Americas have been wrong about for decades was the character of the Frenchman; they call us, the ‘cheese eating surrender monkeys’. In reality, the Frenchman has a soul of deep, burning desire for violence against his enemies, with an equal burning desire for love towards his friends, lovers, and preferred local fromagiers. 

A powerful and invigorating battle is something every Frenchman secretly desires, and I have set my mind to making economic war against such arrogance as displayed by the Americans. First, I must rid my establishment’s walls of this crawling menace. In this, I refuse to surrender one more bite of sawdust to these red headed abominations!

For this task, I turned to Google to search for local pest control companies that had names as powerful as my visions of conquest in this land of paupers; it lead me to Grand Oaks Termite Control. The word ‘grand’ would have to do. As I entered the airport, I directed my secretary in the states to set up the appointment, as I planned to get uproariously drunk before boarding my plane and would have no time.

By the time I stepped off my second plane (I was kicked off the first), the appointment for inspections had already been made and carried out. A full invasion had been carried out by the little monsters, and we would need to burn and salt the earth to ensure their defeat. The Americans assured me that burning down the property was not actually necessary, but I will believe them when they have finished tenting the building and I personally inspect every wall.

If, like myself, you find yourself in need of full defense against the American termite menace and are looking for a termite treatment in La Verne, give Grand Oaks Termite Control a call. They appear to know what they’re doing, which is more than can be said of my staff:

Grand Oaks Termite Control

(626) 538-4156

110 S Worthy Dr, Glendora, CA 91741

Offensive Assault of Modern Office Furnishings

This is Pierre, reporting from personal yacht in Mediterranean Sea, absorbing power from ancient waters to cleanse myself from the toxic energies shot at me while taking most recent tour of business partner’s establishment.

I come here every so often when heaviness of modern life becomes too much of burden for my soul, when my great bulging shoulders sag under weight of drudgery. The sparkling turquoise of the sea and shimmering waves of heat emanating off brilliant white sand fills up the crevices of my soul! While on beach, the wind sometimes carries with it whispers of ancient secrets long forgotten…

Where did these toxic energies come from, you may ask? Well, let Pierre tell you. Ugly, terribly mismanaged office space filled to brim with the most inhuman, least aesthetic furniture and décor you can imagine! It was like they placed each cold metallic chair, each schoolmarm-designed desk in places to spite me, to spit on my face!

It was like Pierre was being bombarded on all sides with a nefarious cosmic energy, mocked by laughing daemon with flames for eyes! Within minutes I knew I must escape this place, less the daemon entrap my mind and meld it into something common, and boring! I fled, letting them know that our business dealings were over.

In short, I was mad! So angry! How can you treat me, Pierre, like that, insulting my aesthetic mind with such a bleak reminder of the grinding toil that takes place in your workspace? More importantly, how could you treat employee like they were irksome beast of burden, giving them furniture not fit for most obstinate donkey?

It is here that I will give this business, and any business like it, opportunity to correct its heinous transgressions and once again strive towards greatness. The first step is to buy better office pieces, so employee no longer feels like office space drone, but valued individual.

I recommend these offices look into such place as Creative Office Design, with its vast array of pleasing furniture. It even has options for cost-minded business owners, with such offerings as used cubicles and cubicle furniture for Los Angeles-based businesses. Minimalist designs with ample room given for real people to sit and pour mental energy into their work, Creative Office Design’s furniture sets are made to ensure that your employees are not just comfortable, but also have the greatest chance for success.

No longer will those like myself who strive for something big – something great! – deign to walk in to office that looks like it was designed by blind goat. We need place of power, to rejuvenate our souls and help lead us and our employees towards the path of success, honor and virtue! Pierre’s employees will not have to sit miserably in uncomfortable and middling modern office environment, their place of work will be imbued with the same resonance that comes from the waves that he now sits!

If you are interested in creating such a place, make sure to give Creative Office Design’s catalogue a look:

Creative Office Design


5230 Pacific Concourse Drive, Suite 105, Los Angeles, CA 90045