While Most Places Businesses in France are the Best and Most Beautiful Places in the World, There are Other Places Businesses Worthy of Note

Author Archives: FrenchComparison

A Taste of Home

It is with great pleasure I now sit in my yard, eating the breakfast made by the only native French baker in San Diego, listening to waves crash upon the beach. The croissant, it is buttery, flaky, and fulfilling, nothing like the cornstarch-laden pig slop the locals so seem to enjoy. The new fountain, decorated in Mediterranean Islamic style geometric tiles, burbles happily next to me. I sigh in deep content.

It makes my mind travel to boyhood, when times were simple.

Paris was my home, but the noise, it was too much! I would often languish in stupor, head lolling as the cars would honk and the people would shout. A joyous city, every corner steeped in la joie de vie! My parents knew even at young age my poetic soul would absorb too much of such energy and burst! So they would take me to family estate, nestled in hills south of Toulon, where the rich Mediterranean sea could heal my troubled head.

It was here that my memories shine clearest now, running through the ancient building, ornate arches separating rooms filled with crystalline figures and Baroque art. Diving from 10 meter high cliffs into an emerald sea, competing with other boys to see who could climb them fastest and jump from highest ledge. Sunset bringing cool breeze with smell of sea, filling my young body with vitality and power!  I fell asleep to the sweet sound of my mother singing, my father accompanying her on old guitar and burbling fountain…

As I grow old now, I desire some comforts of home in far away lands I must now stay in for long periods of time. I have the crystal; I have the Baroque paintings lining my walls. Yet still, for so long there was something missing, a hole that could not be filled by art and croissants.

A dream of boyhood chateau sanctuary finally provided answer – it was the fetid squalor I was living in! The cheap drywall filled me with sudden disgust, and the crude deck – the work of angry drunken man with sloped forehead, no doubt! I took a sledgehammer to it immediately, its very existence insulted me. I remembered then reading a local digest about a company providing pleasing landscape designs in Rancho Santa Fe, and the next step became clear in my mind.

I called Torrey Pines Landscaping, apoplectic and frequently blacking out in my rage, and after they soothed me with calming words, they agreed to come and view my sorry property. I spent days feverishly drawing out plans, sketches pouring out of memories of my childhood refuge. When they arrived, they were first taken aback by the mountain of papers I gave them. After a few hours of explanation, they knew what had to be done.

Within months, it was done. For Americans, they had done remarkable job recreating the Mediterranean feel, though nothing will ever truly compare to the Riviera. For the first time in many years in this sorry country, I felt complete and at home. I finish the last of my glycine coffee now, wiping the crumbs of the croissant off and lighting my last morning cigarette. I stand, the sandstone tiles rough on my bare feet, and smile at new, but old, landscape design in my San Diego home. Much work to be done, but this can be my new, reinvigorating sanctuary.

Torrey Pines Landscape Company

858.256.6491

5560 Eastgate Mall, San Diego, CA 92121

A Refusal To Surrender

I sit in small park that contains remnants of the old Chateau de Roissey-en-France in contemplative mood. I await my flight out of CDG, heading back to what is regretfully becoming my second home in America. The arch, all that is left of grand castle that once rose proudly out of ombre du Paris, carries with it in its own shadow memories of even older secret societies. Societies of which I, Pierre, once belonged.

Thinking of them conjures images of strange and enticing rituals, the strange smell of exotic incense burning as we clothe ourselves in animal skins. We emerge from behind luxurious curtains of bright colored silks, raising chalices of intoxicating liquids and howl towards moon like beasts.

Another, more pedestrian howl, one of airplane coming in for landing, breaks me from this reminiscence and reminds me of how ordinary life has become. Much has changed in the decades since, and now I find myself having to deal with loudmouthed boors from across the sea far too regularly. Even now they call for my help in solving simple problem of pest eating wood in wall of one of my many stateside holdings. They have tried everything, they say, for months, they say.

One of many things the baboonish people of the Americas have been wrong about for decades was the character of the Frenchman; they call us, the ‘cheese eating surrender monkeys’. In reality, the Frenchman has a soul of deep, burning desire for violence against his enemies, with an equal burning desire for love towards his friends, lovers, and preferred local fromagiers. 

A powerful and invigorating battle is something every Frenchman secretly desires, and I have set my mind to making economic war against such arrogance as displayed by the Americans. First, I must rid my establishment’s walls of this crawling menace. In this, I refuse to surrender one more bite of sawdust to these red headed abominations!

For this task, I turned to Google to search for local pest control companies that had names as powerful as my visions of conquest in this land of paupers; it lead me to Grand Oaks Termite Control. The word ‘grand’ would have to do. As I entered the airport, I directed my secretary in the states to set up the appointment, as I planned to get uproariously drunk before boarding my plane and would have no time.

By the time I stepped off my second plane (I was kicked off the first), the appointment for inspections had already been made and carried out. A full invasion had been carried out by the little monsters, and we would need to burn and salt the earth to ensure their defeat. The Americans assured me that burning down the property was not actually necessary, but I will believe them when they have finished tenting the building and I personally inspect every wall.

If, like myself, you find yourself in need of full defense against the American termite menace and are looking for a termite treatment in La Verne, give Grand Oaks Termite Control a call. They appear to know what they’re doing, which is more than can be said of my staff:

Grand Oaks Termite Control

(626) 538-4156

110 S Worthy Dr, Glendora, CA 91741

Offensive Assault of Modern Office Furnishings

This is Pierre, reporting from personal yacht in Mediterranean Sea, absorbing power from ancient waters to cleanse myself from the toxic energies shot at me while taking most recent tour of business partner’s establishment.

I come here every so often when heaviness of modern life becomes too much of burden for my soul, when my great bulging shoulders sag under weight of drudgery. The sparkling turquoise of the sea and shimmering waves of heat emanating off brilliant white sand fills up the crevices of my soul! While on beach, the wind sometimes carries with it whispers of ancient secrets long forgotten…

Where did these toxic energies come from, you may ask? Well, let Pierre tell you. Ugly, terribly mismanaged office space filled to brim with the most inhuman, least aesthetic furniture and décor you can imagine! It was like they placed each cold metallic chair, each schoolmarm-designed desk in places to spite me, to spit on my face!

It was like Pierre was being bombarded on all sides with a nefarious cosmic energy, mocked by laughing daemon with flames for eyes! Within minutes I knew I must escape this place, less the daemon entrap my mind and meld it into something common, and boring! I fled, letting them know that our business dealings were over.

In short, I was mad! So angry! How can you treat me, Pierre, like that, insulting my aesthetic mind with such a bleak reminder of the grinding toil that takes place in your workspace? More importantly, how could you treat employee like they were irksome beast of burden, giving them furniture not fit for most obstinate donkey?

It is here that I will give this business, and any business like it, opportunity to correct its heinous transgressions and once again strive towards greatness. The first step is to buy better office pieces, so employee no longer feels like office space drone, but valued individual.

I recommend these offices look into such place as Creative Office Design, with its vast array of pleasing furniture. It even has options for cost-minded business owners, with such offerings as used cubicles and cubicle furniture for Los Angeles-based businesses. Minimalist designs with ample room given for real people to sit and pour mental energy into their work, Creative Office Design’s furniture sets are made to ensure that your employees are not just comfortable, but also have the greatest chance for success.

No longer will those like myself who strive for something big – something great! – deign to walk in to office that looks like it was designed by blind goat. We need place of power, to rejuvenate our souls and help lead us and our employees towards the path of success, honor and virtue! Pierre’s employees will not have to sit miserably in uncomfortable and middling modern office environment, their place of work will be imbued with the same resonance that comes from the waves that he now sits!

If you are interested in creating such a place, make sure to give Creative Office Design’s catalogue a look:

Creative Office Design

714-880-7509

5230 Pacific Concourse Drive, Suite 105, Los Angeles, CA 90045