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Return Of The Six-Legged Menace

Return Of The Six-Legged Menace

Bonjour mon amis and welcome back to my great exhortation to Dionysus, god of wine, fertility, and madness. I am not supposed to tell you this, but I have just returned from trip to Greece and Ionia, where followers of Dionysian Mysteries still reside, and spirit of old Greek gods may still be accessed if you know where to look…

But my head, it is still fogged by the revelries and wine, so I speak too much and too plainly. The mysteries may only be revealed to those who partake in the ritualistic madness that the god is associated with, so maybe it is not so good an idea to spread these talks.

Upon returning, it was revealed that, once again my commercial enterprises have been beset by a plague of the infuriating six legged BEASTS that seem to crawl under every inch of this besotted land! It is as if they await my departure before nesting in my property, as the devils know that my sharp eyes would catch them even in dead of night.

The madness of the festivities could never match the red hot FURY that overcame me at learning of this most recent affront. I smashed my desk with my bare hands as the assistants fled for safety. They know that my passion cannot be contained, and so they retreat to the designated safe room and listen to my animalistic howling and the sounds my great and powerful CHIMPING OUT.

Once calmed and coaxed out of freshly destroyed office with fine Turkish coffee and promises of eternal fealty, I began process of rebuilding. I have separate storage space for replacement furnishings for those destroyed during moments of Dionysian-inspired passion, but the termite problem would require outside help.

For this I once again turned to my great friends at Grand Oaks Termite Control, who I have called many times since my move to western coast. There was a time where they did not return my phone calls after seeing one such fit of godly rage, but my fine subordinates were able to sooth their scarred employees as well. There is reason I continue to bear my employees’ normally insufferable American natures – I only hire the best of their kind.

After a brief inspection, they assured me that the infestation was light and could be easily taken care of without need to change my normal operations. This news overjoyed me – the recent trip had devastated not just my body and soul, but my finances as well.

Within the week, my friends had cleared out the menace and the energy of the office immediately became once again uplifting, the clouds over my head evaporated, letting the sun shine on me and produce vitality and strengthen muscles. My employees visibly relaxed, and the alert status posted at front door was turned down once again to normal level of merely ‘elevated’ rather than ‘imminent’.

If you are like me and are in desperate need of termite infestation control in Pasadena and surrounding areas, give my friends at Grand Oaks a call. Do not mention my name.

Grand Oaks Termite Control

(626) 538-4156

110 S Worthy Dr Glendora, CA 91741

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