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Marriage Advice

Marriage Advice

Recently, a friend asked me when it is right time to get married in relationship. I ask him if he wanted to hear true answer, or cute answer. “Truth, please,” he said to me in infuriating American accent.

True answer was: do not get married. Love exist regardless of state involvement, and all state does is add extra pressure to squash love that might make it through challenging times. I’ve seen it many times: state incentivise divorce for some parties rather than punish couples who are too weak to follow through on commitments.

For many in America, they are too foolish to see the wisdom in such advice. They marry on whim and get divorced just as capriciously. For those of you who find yourselves on same path as fool, two things: 

1. Take deep look at self and wonder, ‘why,’ and 

2. Look into mediation rather than divorce court, it will twist soul and gonads somewhat less than regular court route. If you live in the southern California area, look into McNamee Mediations, who I have heard mentioned many times by business associates and employees.

Quick look through testimonials provides proof of quality:

As a financial planner, I see my clients go through a number of changes in their lives and sometimes it includes a separation/divorce. Mediation is the far better option when dissolving a marriage as it puts a lot less strain not only on the finances but also the emotions of everyone involved. This is where Colleen McNamee stands out. As an attorney-mediator, she is extremely knowledgeable in her field, has two decades of experience, but also truly cares about her clients. Something that cannot be taught in law school is the gift of empathy and caring for others, which translates into achieving fair and equitable results for couples. Thanks to her very strong skill set and the services she’s able to offer, she remains a neutral counsel to both parties throughout the process, and the Agreements she drafts are far superior to any other divorce mediator I have seen! My clients have come out feeling like they were treated fairly, received their equitable shares, and can now move forward with their lives onto their next chapters.

Katerina Hencova – Google Review
Read Andrea P.‘s review of McNamee Mediations on Yelp

I have known Colleen McNamee for over two years and I love how she handles people who are having marriage problems. She is always interested in what is best for everyone involved, especially for any children. Sometimes, it’s a “marriage contract” that she draws up to help people stay together amicably instead of getting a divorce. If divorce is the only option, then unlike a contentious court divorce with attorneys pitting spouses against each other in public and draining the couple’s bank accounts, Colleen can get couples working together for the best solution, at far lower cost, and it’s a private matter. I highly recommend her services, and so do people who have gotten divorces through her because they often talk about how she made it so much less stressful than a courtroom divorce.

Gregg Hill – Google Review

If marriage is too hard for your piggish American brain, look into McNamee Mediations. They’ll do their best to leave soul unsundered.

McNamee Mediations

+19492233836

4590 MacArthur Blvd Suite 500, Newport Beach, CA 92660

When Love Crumbles, Consider Mediation

When Love Crumbles, Consider Mediation

In Paris, France, there once was a famous bridge, known as the “Love Lock Bridge”. Couples from all over the world would visit the bridge to attach their locks, along with a note, symbolizing their marriage and love as eternal. This practice is said to have started in Rome, Italy in 2006, and to have made its way to Paris in 2008. However, as it became more popular, the weight of more and more locks being attached to the bridge was beginning to cause serious problems. CNN reported that the weight of the locks was equivalent to 20 elephants!

Similar to this once famous bridge, my marriage to my then-soulmate was once sealed and fated to be locked and everlasting—or so it seemed. Over the years, it seemed more and more like my spouse didn’t want to be married anymore. I thought I had done everything I could as a husband and spouse, but she seemed to be dissatisfied with marriage nonetheless. Not to mention that I not only treated her with kindness and respect, but I had also given her a very comfortable life. My ex-wife was a stay-at-home socialite who spent my money lavishly. I worked in investment banking for fifteen years, and it broke my heart to come home every night, after an exhaustingly stressful day at work, to a wife who didn’t seem to care for my presence. There was no excitement, no intimacy—just the seemingly unbearable weight of being married. Eventually, it apparently crumbled on her, and she decided to leave me.

Plant On A Balcony

Now, I should mention I do not write in order to merely air out my dirty laundry out on a cyber balcony. What I mean to express is that marriage is hard. And if you, despite your best efforts, have been unable to save yours, then perhaps it is time to walk away. The love locks on the Paris bridge were eventually removed in 2015, as the weight of the locks were no longer sustainable. Such is the metaphor of love and life: when a marriage has become unhealthy, it is time for the couple to consider divorce.

Think about all of the joint assets, liabilities, and properties between you and your spouse. If you have been married for many years, this can be complicated. According to family experts in Orange County Law, divorce is a roller coaster of uncontrolled emotions. If you find yourself falling out of love with someone, how should you proceed? Of course, there is always the option of litigating in divorce court: hire a lawyer, spend an average of “$15,000-$20,000 per person”, and leave your fate up to a judge.

Or, you could mediate. In Orange County, family law mediator Colleen McNamee has been hailed as “the divorce whisperer”, helping couples navigate through legal separation on amicable and mutually respectful terms. Mediation takes place through a neutral third party, rather than in court. It is thought to be a healthier option for everyone involved, especially for couples with children.

If you are looking to remove your locks of love and start a new chapter in life, you can give McNamee Mediations a call:

McNamee Mediations
4590 MacArthur Blvd Suite 500, Newport Beach, CA 92660