orange county Archives - If It Can't Be France

Marriage Advice

Posted on October 20, 2020 by FrenchComparison • 0 Comments

Recently, a friend asked me when it is right time to get married in relationship. I ask him if he wanted to hear true answer, or cute answer. “Truth, please,” he said to me in infuriating American accent.

True answer was: do not get married. Love exist regardless of state involvement, and all state does is add extra pressure to squash love that might make it through challenging times. I’ve seen it many times: state incentivise divorce for some parties rather than punish couples who are too weak to follow through on commitments.

For many in America, they are too foolish to see the wisdom in such advice. They marry on whim and get divorced just as capriciously. For those of you who find yourselves on same path as fool, two things:

1. Take deep look at self and wonder, ‘why,’ and

2. Look into mediation rather than divorce court, it will twist soul and gonads somewhat less than regular court route. If you live in the southern California area, look into McNamee Mediations, who I have heard mentioned many times by business associates and employees.

Quick look through testimonials provides proof of quality:

As a financial planner, I see my clients go through a number of changes in their lives and sometimes it includes a separation/divorce. Mediation is the far better option when dissolving a marriage as it puts a lot less strain not only on the finances but also the emotions of everyone involved. This is where Colleen McNamee stands out. As an attorney-mediator, she is extremely knowledgeable in her field, has two decades of experience, but also truly cares about her clients. Something that cannot be taught in law school is the gift of empathy and caring for others, which translates into achieving fair and equitable results for couples. Thanks to her very strong skill set and the services she’s able to offer, she remains a neutral counsel to both parties throughout the process, and the Agreements she drafts are far superior to any other divorce mediator I have seen! My clients have come out feeling like they were treated fairly, received their equitable shares, and can now move forward with their lives onto their next chapters.
Katerina Hencova – Google Review

Read Andrea P.‘s review of McNamee Mediations on Yelp

I have known Colleen McNamee for over two years and I love how she handles people who are having marriage problems. She is always interested in what is best for everyone involved, especially for any children. Sometimes, it’s a “marriage contract” that she draws up to help people stay together amicably instead of getting a divorce. If divorce is the only option, then unlike a contentious court divorce with attorneys pitting spouses against each other in public and draining the couple’s bank accounts, Colleen can get couples working together for the best solution, at far lower cost, and it’s a private matter. I highly recommend her services, and so do people who have gotten divorces through her because they often talk about how she made it so much less stressful than a courtroom divorce.
Gregg Hill – Google Review

If marriage is too hard for your piggish American brain, look into McNamee Mediations. They’ll do their best to leave soul unsundered.

McNamee Mediations

+19492233836

4590 MacArthur Blvd Suite 500, Newport Beach, CA 92660

When Love Crumbles, Consider Mediation

Posted on April 9, 2020 by CulturalReview • 0 Comments

In Paris, France, there once was a famous bridge, known as the “Love Lock Bridge”. Couples from all over the world would visit the bridge to attach their locks, along with a note, symbolizing their marriage and love as eternal. This practice is said to have started in Rome, Italy in 2006, and to have made its way to Paris in 2008. However, as it became more popular, the weight of more and more locks being attached to the bridge was beginning to cause serious problems. CNN reported that the weight of the locks was equivalent to 20 elephants!

Similar to this once famous bridge, my marriage to my then-soulmate was once sealed and fated to be locked and everlasting—or so it seemed. Over the years, it seemed more and more like my spouse didn’t want to be married anymore. I thought I had done everything I could as a husband and spouse, but she seemed to be dissatisfied with marriage nonetheless. Not to mention that I not only treated her with kindness and respect, but I had also given her a very comfortable life. My ex-wife was a stay-at-home socialite who spent my money lavishly. I worked in investment banking for fifteen years, and it broke my heart to come home every night, after an exhaustingly stressful day at work, to a wife who didn’t seem to care for my presence. There was no excitement, no intimacy—just the seemingly unbearable weight of being married. Eventually, it apparently crumbled on her, and she decided to leave me.

Now, I should mention I do not write in order to merely air out my dirty laundry out on a cyber balcony. What I mean to express is that marriage is hard. And if you, despite your best efforts, have been unable to save yours, then perhaps it is time to walk away. The love locks on the Paris bridge were eventually removed in 2015, as the weight of the locks were no longer sustainable. Such is the metaphor of love and life: when a marriage has become unhealthy, it is time for the couple to consider divorce.

Think about all of the joint assets, liabilities, and properties between you and your spouse. If you have been married for many years, this can be complicated. According to family experts in Orange County Law, divorce is a roller coaster of uncontrolled emotions. If you find yourself falling out of love with someone, how should you proceed? Of course, there is always the option of litigating in divorce court: hire a lawyer, spend an average of “$15,000-$20,000 per person”, and leave your fate up to a judge.

Or, you could mediate. In Orange County, family law mediator Colleen McNamee has been hailed as “the divorce whisperer”, helping couples navigate through legal separation on amicable and mutually respectful terms. Mediation takes place through a neutral third party, rather than in court. It is thought to be a healthier option for everyone involved, especially for couples with children.

If you are looking to remove your locks of love and start a new chapter in life, you can give McNamee Mediations a call:

McNamee Mediations
4590 MacArthur Blvd Suite 500, Newport Beach, CA 92660

One Less Memory

Posted on December 15, 2019 by CulturalReview • 0 Comments

I woke up the other morning with the worst pain I have experienced since my divorce. However, this wasn’t the emotional pain of heartbreak, this was physical pain. Every part of my body was sore from mowing the lawn. I could not believe it.

If you had heard me screaming while I was trying to get out of bed, you would have had to pardon my french. I did not want to think about mowing my lawn ever again. As I finally stood up, I had a sudden flashback to a time when life was much less painful.

I remembered the life we once shared, and how we used to spend all of our days together at our beautiful manor in France. Back then, we had housekeepers and gardeners. We didn’t have a care in the world. It was bliss.

Of course, that was all shattered when she decided on divorcing me and taking mostly everything we shared. When I moved to the United States, I wanted to start over in a new country, on a blank slate. But I never wanted to leave behind memories of my home country France. I was very lucky to find a house that reminded me of the manor. It has a big beautiful lawn, just like my previous manor. That said, over time I have grown weary of the upkeep, as I do not have housekeepers and gardeners anymore. Starting over in life has been a very humbling experience. While I would love to hire someone to do the lawn-mowing for me, I haven’t been able to afford it.

After I finished reminiscing in misery, I suddenly came to the recollection of having overheard someone at the local cafe saying something about artificial grass and being quite pleased with the results of their installation. I hobbled over to my laptop to see what that was all about. I was quite intrigued by the idea of it: grass that does not require mowing and a lawn that looks green and beautiful year round. This had to be it! This had to be the solution and the end of my struggles. Upon further research, it turns out that I am not alone in my dislike for lawn-mowing; many homeowners seem to be choosing artificial turf over real grass.

I came across a company called NoMow Turf, Inc., and I was quite impressed by the photos of their work. But being the skeptic that I am, I had plenty of detailed questions to ask them about artificial grass and the process of installation. They very patiently answered all of my questions to my satisfaction, and I decided to book an appointment right away.

Alas, I am very happy report that I have a brand new lawn and that my body has fully recovered from the soreness. Now that I won’t have to physically take care of my lawn every two weeks, I shall now have one less painful memory of France to think about. This shall be a new era of a new kind of bliss.

NoMow Turf, Inc. – Synthetic Lawns & Putting Greens
26674 Vista Terrace, Lake Forest, CA 92630, United States

Pastries For A Broken Heart

Posted on September 24, 2019 by CulturalReview • 0 Comments

Ten years ago, I fell in love with the love of my life. We built a beautiful life together for which I am grateful. However, that chapter has come to an end.

We are no longer married, and I am no longer living in France. I find myself wondering if I’d ever be able to live there again. I don’t know if I will be able to walk through the streets without thinking of her and the devastating divorce we went through. I don’t know if I’ll be able to go back to our favorite patisserie without reminiscing about all the beautiful moments we will no longer share together.

My heart is completely shattered and I am unable to find peace with the past or contemplate certainty about the future. All I know is that I still love her and that I miss waking up with her in beautiful Bordeaux. I have left behind everything I loved in France, from people to pastries. My favorite pastry is the paris-brest. It is a decadent cream sandwiched in a perfectly light and delicate pastry. If I was still living in France I would probably be eating one of these per day as comfort.

Unfortunately, staying put didn’t seem like the easiest option. I lost my home in the divorce. Although I could have looked for a new house there, I moved to the U.S. to leave my comfort zone instead of retreating into sorrow. New beginnings are usually pretty exciting, but not after something you cherished and committed to for a decade falls apart. Even though it was my choice to leave France and move here, I feel like I lost my entire life as a result of this divorce. I am rebuilding my life and rediscovering my purpose, all from scratch.

When I told her that I didn’t want either of us to be angry, she apparently took that as a challenge to see who would be the winner-takes-all. I hoped, nearly begged, for amicable separation and what I got in return was what felt like vengeance against the fact that we found ourselves in a partnership that was simply not meant to last. I had come to terms with the fact that our incompatibility wasn’t the fault of either one of us, but she seemed to think that the failure of our marriage was my fault. After a seemingly endless amount of back-and-forth, I realized that prolonging the process was only going to hurt me even more. So I let her win. I didn’t want to win any argument, and I didn’t want to keep anything she felt entitled to.

It wasn’t until I moved here that I learned about divorce mediation. If we had chosen that option instead, everything would have been less painful to endure, and we might have avoided the escalating arguments during the proceedings. If I ever get married again, and God forbid, end up in another divorce, I will certainly choose the route of hiring a divorce mediator.

As I’ve been grieving my marriage which has ended, I have come across an established mediator. I am including their information below for anyone who wishes to explore this option. McNamee Mediations would be my first call.

McNamee Mediations
4590 MacArthur Blvd Suite 500, Newport Beach, CA 92660, USA

A Brief Hiccup

Posted on August 20, 2019 by FrenchEstate • 0 Comments

You should know that I can’t stay in one place very long. A wandering French soul can simply not be tied down to any one place. Can you guess where I went this time? Yup, you probably got it: the United States. Don’t get me wrong, France is my home. French architecture, food, and the people are perfect. But, the United States has such a variety of life that I can’t help but visit back again. There’s always something new to try or taste.

The plan was to arrive in New York and stay there for a few days. Then, I wanted to go on a bit of a Midwestern stretch and bounce between a few states of Middle America. While France is perhaps the most popular for its cities and people (Paris, anyone?), the plains of the United States are such a stark contrast from what I’m used to. The sky is so open. You feel like you could be swallowed whole by the blue.

But as I said, this story starts in New York. I wish this article could be about one of my more fun adventures, but I just have to tell you what happened. I got caught up by security at an airport. Sound familiar? Sound like the issue I had in SoCal? Yeah.

A particularly meticulous airport agent noticed that there was a spelling error on my paperwork and wouldn’t let me go through. The spelling error gave the airport security a red flag, and I was forced to miss my flight. They sent me to a plain, gray room where I was “interrogated” about my reason to be in the United States and why my name was spelled differently on two different documents. The explanation of human error didn’t seem to be good enough for them.

But, I remembered the time I was taken in by the police after Disneyland. At the time, it took a bit of searching, but I managed to find someone. There was an excellent immigration lawyer in Orange County, and it’s a good thing I saved their phone number. I immediately called K. Nair Law Group and explained who I was. They were sympathetic and gathered my information quickly.

It took a little back and forth between Ms. Nair and the security chief, but before I knew it, I was set free and compensated for my missed flight. Thank goodness! I hopped on my new flight immediately. I intended to visit South Dakota after some lovely people in Montana recommended the Badlands to me. The striped canyons were so beautiful. And huge. It reminded me of how small I am in the world. It can be easy to forget.

This was a trip that I’m sure I’ll never forget. I can never thank K. Nair Law Group for being so kind and fast. Because they handled the issue so well, what was originally a big ordeal turned into just a little blip on the timeline of my trip. Now, whenever I have friends who visit the United States, especially Southern California, I give them Kiran Nair’s phone number. It feels reassuring to have someone’s phone number in your back pocket. Especially one who cares.

K Nair Law Group, P.C.

31897 Del Obispo St Suite 225, San Juan Capistrano, CA 92675

(949) 493-4150

To Ride or Not To Ride

Posted on October 10, 2018 by FrenchEstate • 0 Comments

Bonjour! It is me again, Pierre.

Today, I am going to get on my soapbox for just a moment and rant about something.

I try…I try so hard to be an environmentally conscious traveler. When I can I walk to see the sites. I only travel on plant powered trains and airplanes that run on biofuel. I always eat locally and I limit my beef intake. I go to great measures to protect this beautiful world that we live in.

So naturally, I have been extremely excited about the rise in popularity of electric vehicles over the past ten years or so. I can get to my site seeing locations much quicker taking a car than walking which allows me to see more wonderful sites and locations on my trips, although it is still nice to walk now and then, especially on a nice warm summer day.

I had run into a pretty significant problem though with my electric vehicle. It all started when I was traveling in Orange County. I was looking for EV chargers to charge my new Tesla Model S. The OC is beautiful and I was having a great time driving around seeing all of the beaches, but my battery started to run low and I had to find a spot to charge. I looked up the closest charging station and it was 15 miles away! This would never do. I had to leave the beach and head back inland to charge my car. It ruined my day as I didn’t have enough time to get ice cream by the pier.

Okay, I’m stepping off my soapbox now because I was able to help figure out a solution.

That night I was staying in my Airbnb and talking with my lovely host about this issue. They were telling me about some of their friends that were having the same issue with their electric car. There simply were not enough charging stations around and many of the homes didn’t have the proper setup in their garages to charge cars. We didn’t even know who to call to try and resolve the problem. So, we started by looking for an electrician in Orange County and it turns out that some of them install EV chargers right in your home for a pretty reasonable price.

Well, my host was excited because they had been looking for a way to stick out among the other Airbnb listings and their figured having a garage specifically fitted for an electric car would be a big selling point. They called the electrician and they came out the next day and installed everything that was needed. And I was happy because that next night I was able to charge my Telsa and had enough battery to drive all the way down the highway to San Diego and back.

Thanks to that great electrician, myself and others can now be even more environmentally conscious than we were before. Helping our world one little step at a time.

If you’re in Southern California and you are looking to get your garage set up for an electric car, you can check out the guys we used. They did an amazing job!

The Tradesman Electrician
(949) 378-8334

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